Crying is how your baby tells you they need comfort and care. The NHS guide to soothing a crying baby lists the usual reasons as hunger, a wet or dirty nappy, tiredness, wanting a cuddle, wind, being too hot or cold, boredom and overstimulation. Work through those needs calmly, then try one soothing technique at a time. Crying tends to increase from around 2 weeks of age and reduce from around 3 months, so if your baby is otherwise well, a hard few weeks is common and not a sign you're doing anything wrong.
Some cries are different. A weak or high-pitched cry, or crying in a baby who is floppy, struggling to breathe or hard to wake, needs urgent help. That's covered in the "When is crying a sign of illness?" section below.
Why do babies cry?
Most crying has an everyday cause. The Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne (RCH) adds anxiety or wanting company and closeness to the NHS list, and notes that babies can pick up on stress around them. Most of the time there's no medical reason.
Some babies are simply more unsettled than others. The RCH says around one in five newborns cry a lot or are hard to settle, and that being unsettled is very common up to about four months.
What should you check first when your baby cries?
Run through this checklist before reaching for techniques. It covers the needs the NHS and RCH list.
| Check | What to look for | What to try |
|---|---|---|
| Hungry? | Rooting, sucking hands, time since last feed | Offer a feed (hunger cues) |
| Wind? | Squirming or pulling up legs after a feed | Hold upright and burp (burping) |
| Nappy? | Wet, dirty or rubbing | Change it |
| Too hot or cold? | Feel the tummy, chest or back of the neck | Add or remove a layer |
| Tired? | Yawning, staring, jerky movements | Wind down for sleep (overtired baby) |
| Overstimulated? | Turning away, fussing after busy play | Quiet, dim room |
| Wants closeness? | Settles when held | Cuddle, skin-to-skin or a sling |
To check temperature, Red Nose in Australia says to feel your baby's tummy, and the Lullaby Trust says to feel the chest or the back of the neck. Cool hands and feet are normal.
NSW Health's sleep and settling page lists tired cues such as rubbing eyes, yawning, staring, clenched fists and jerky movements, and notes that a baby who is already crying from tiredness can find it harder to sleep. Also check for anything uncomfortable, like tight clothing or a scratchy label. If every need is met and your baby is still crying, move on to soothing.
How can you soothe a crying baby?
The NHS and RCH suggest these ways to soothe:
- holding your baby close, or carrying them in a sling while you move about and sing
- gentle rocking in your arms, a pram or the car
- background noise, music or a mobile
- stroking their back or a gentle baby massage
- a warm bath, though the NHS notes this upsets some babies
- sucking, at the breast or on a dummy
- a pram walk, or a calm, quiet place
- swaddling, which the RCH lists among comfort measures (see swaddling for safe wrapping)
Go one step at a time
The AAP's self-soothing guide suggests starting with the least help and building up:
- Let your baby see your face and talk to them calmly.
- Put a hand on their tummy or chest, or gently hold their arms in.
- Roll them onto their side in your arms, while awake only.
- Pick them up and rock them, or swaddle and rock.
- Offer a dummy, then a feed if it seems helpful.
It suggests giving each strategy about 5 minutes before switching, and avoiding trying many at once, which can overstimulate your baby. If you'd like a structured sequence for young babies, see the 5 S's.
How much crying is normal, and when does it peak?
| Age | What sources describe |
|---|---|
| Around 2 weeks | Crying tends to start increasing (NHS) |
| 2 to 8 weeks | Increases week by week; peaks in the second month (RCH review) |
| Around 6 weeks | Fussing peaks at about 3 hours a day (AAP) |
| 3 to 4 months | Reduces; often 1 to 2 hours a day by 3 to 4 months (AAP) |
| 4 to 5 months | Usually settled to lower, more stable levels (RCH review) |
The RCH's Community Paediatric Review says crying at its peak lasts around 2½ hours a day on average, but can be much longer for some babies, with bouts often clustering in the late afternoon and evening. The AAP's colic page gives the 3-hours-by-6-weeks figure. Seattle Children's describes 1 to 2 hours of unexplained crying a day as normal before 3 months.
If your baby cries more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, for at least a week, the NHS colic page says it may be colic. Our colic and PURPLE crying guide covers that in detail.
When is crying a sign of illness?
Trust your instincts. You know your baby's usual cry.
Call your local emergency number (000 in Australia, 999 in the UK, 911 in the US) now if your baby:
- has a weak, high-pitched or continuous cry, or a cry that doesn't sound like their normal cry
- is floppy, unresponsive or not waking as easily as usual
- has difficulty breathing, such as grunting, the tummy sucking in under the ribs, or very fast breathing
- has blue, grey, pale or blotchy skin, lips or tongue
- has a fit (seizure)
- has a rash that doesn't fade when you press it
- has not had a wet nappy in the past 8 hours
- is under 3 months old and has a temperature of 38°C (100.4°F) or higher
- has a bulging soft spot on their head
These come from the NHS soothing and colic pages, the NHS urgent-help guide and the Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS leaflet on PURPLE crying. The AAP's calming guide also says a fever in a baby under 2 months needs a call to the doctor right away.
Get medical advice now or the same day (GP, a health advice line (Pregnancy, Birth and Baby on 1800 882 436 in Australia, NHS 111 in the UK, your pediatrician's after-hours line in the US) or after-hours service) if your baby:
- is not interested in feeding or is feeding much less than usual
- cries constantly and can't be consoled, or has cried nonstop for more than 2 hours
- keeps vomiting
- cries when touched, moved or held
- seems unwell in any other way, or you're worried
Mention at your next check, or call a health advice line (Pregnancy, Birth and Baby on 1800 882 436 in Australia, NHS 111 in the UK, your pediatrician's after-hours line in the US) for advice, if:
- crying is long but your baby is feeding, growing and well between bouts
- crying is still a big part of the day after 4 months
- you're finding it hard to cope
How do you cope when the crying doesn't stop?
Crying that won't stop is exhausting, and feeling frustrated doesn't make you a bad parent. The NHS says to put your baby in their cot or pram, make sure they're safe, close the door, go into another room and calm yourself. Set a time limit, for example 10 minutes, then go back. The AAP describes a similar break of about 10 to 15 minutes.
Some things that help:
- take a few slow breaths and count to ten
- hand over to another adult for a while, even an hour
- step outside or call a friend while your baby is safe in the cot
- eat something and drink water
- accept offers of meals or help with jobs
Never shake a baby, no matter how frustrated you feel. The RCH says shaking can cause brain damage and lifelong disability. If you're worried you might hurt your baby, put them somewhere safe and get help from another adult straight away. Call a crisis line (Lifeline on 13 11 14 in Australia, Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK, 988 in the US) or your local emergency number (000 in Australia, 999 in the UK, 911 in the US) if you feel you can't keep yourself or your baby safe. For ongoing support, contact a parenting support service (Tresillian or Karitane in Australia, your health visitor in the UK, your pediatrician's office in the US), and talk to your GP or a perinatal support line (PANDA on 1300 726 306 in Australia, Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline on 1-833-852-6262 in the US) if you feel low or anxious most days (see postnatal mood).
What is worth noting about crying?
A short note of when crying starts, how long it lasts, what you tried and what helped can show a pattern, such as evening clusters or crying after feeds. The AAP suggests keeping this kind of diary of when your baby is awake, asleep, eating and crying, and it's useful to show your GP or child-health nurse.
