Siblings sharing a room: when it's safe and how to make it work

Siblings can share a bedroom once your baby is past the room-sharing stage with you, as long as the baby has their own safe cot. For at least the first 6 months, safe-sleep bodies in Australia, the UK and the US advise that your baby sleeps in their own cot or bassinet in the same room as a parent or carer, for every sleep. After that, there's no set age for siblings to share, so it comes down to your space and your children.

The non-negotiables: the baby sleeps on their back in their own cot with nothing else in it, never in a bed with a brother or sister, and no young child sleeps on a top bunk. The rest is logistics: staggered bedtimes, a dark and calm room, and a plan for when one child wakes the other.

When can a baby share a room with an older sibling?

From about 6 months, if it suits your family. Before that, your baby's cot belongs in the room where a parent or carer sleeps.

• Australia's Red Nose's six safe sleep recommendations in Australia say to sleep your baby in their own safe sleep space in the same room as a parent or caregiver for at least the first 6 months.
• The Lullaby Trust's room-sharing page in the UK says babies should always be in the same room as you for the first six months, for sleep, day and night.
• The NHS SIDS page says to place your baby in a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for every sleep for at least the first 6 months.
• The AAP's safe sleep guide in the US says to share a room with your baby for at least the first 6 months.

Room-sharing is about an adult being close by. An older brother or sister in the room, however sensible, doesn't count. If your whole family sleeps in one room, that's fine, as long as the baby has their own cot.

After 6 months, none of these sources sets a date for moving your baby out of your room, or a best age for siblings to share. See moving baby to their own room for how to make the move.

What safe-sleep rules apply when siblings share a room?

The same rules as for any baby, plus a few that come with having an older child around.

1. Own cot, on their back. The AAP says a baby's sleep area should have nothing in it but a fitted sheet: no pillows, blankets, toys or bumpers. Red Nose in Australia says to keep your baby's head and face uncovered and to provide a safe sleeping environment night and day.
2. Never in a bed with a sibling. Australia's Red Nose's co-sleeping page in Australia says a baby should never be placed next to other children or pets, which increases the risk of overheating and suffocation. The Lullaby Trust's co-sleeping page says not to bring other children or pets into bed with you and your baby, and the NHS says the same.
3. No bunks for babies. Australia's Red Nose's safe sleeping environment page in Australia says never to sleep your baby in an adult bed or bunk bed, waterbed, beanbag, couch, pillow or cushion.
4. Keep the cot clear. Toddlers love to share. Teach your older child that nothing goes into the baby's cot (no toys, pillows or blankets) and that they don't climb in.
5. Check the older child's things. The NHS baby and toddler safety page says to keep toys designed for older children away from babies, as they may have small parts, and to keep button batteries and magnetic toys with small pieces away from young children. A shared room often means a shared floor, so do a sweep before the baby crawls around.
6. Mind cords. The NHS says to keep blind and curtain cords tied up and out of reach, and not to leave cords lying around, including dressing gown cords and drawstring bags. Red Nose in Australia says to keep the cot away from hanging cords.

Twins are a special case: the Lullaby Trust's twins advice says twins can share a cot in the early weeks, but once they can roll and move about the cot, they need separate sleep spaces.

What age can a child use the top bunk?

Sources differ, so go with the stricter one where you live and your child's maturity.

Australia's Red Nose's guide to moving from a cot to a bed in Australia says the top bunk or another raised bed isn't recommended for children under nine years of age, and that bunk beds supplied in Australia must meet the mandatory safety standard. The AAP's bunk bed advice says not to let a child younger than 6 sleep on the top bunk, because younger children don't have the coordination to climb safely or keep from falling out. KidsHealth and an NHS Healthier Together guide give the same age of 6.

So for the ages this guide covers, the top bunk isn't for anyone. If a bunk bed is the only way to fit everyone in, the AAP suggests:

• a guardrail on the top bunk with a gap no wider than 3½ inches (about 9 cm)
• a ladder attached to the top bunk, with a night-light so your child can see it
• a top mattress that fits snugly in the frame, supported by slats or wires that run directly underneath
• the bed in a corner, with walls on 2 sides
• no jumping or rough play on either bunk

Your baby still needs their own cot. A bottom bunk is a bed, not a safe sleep space for a baby.

How do I stagger bedtimes for siblings who share a room?

Children of different ages need different amounts of sleep. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM), in recommendations endorsed by the AAP, gives these totals per 24 hours, including naps:

Because the younger child usually needs more sleep, many families put the baby down first:

1. Share the early part of the routine. A bath or a story together can work well, then split up.
2. Settle the baby first, in a dark, quiet room.
3. Give your older child their wind-down somewhere else. The NHS advice on sleep and young children suggests a calming, predictable routine that starts around 30 minutes before your child usually falls asleep, and no tablets or phones in the 30 to 60 minutes before bed.
4. Move your older child in quietly once the baby is asleep, with a dim light if needed. The NHS says to leave a dim light on if necessary, and KidsHealth's preschooler sleep guide says a night-light can help a child who is afraid of the dark.

Some families do it the other way round, when the older child falls asleep quickly and sleeps deeply, and the baby needs a later feed. Either works if both children get enough sleep.

Example evening

Example evening — adjust to your children. This is one possible pattern for a 9-month-old and a 3-year-old, not a target.

What if one child keeps waking the other?

This is the most common worry, and it usually gets easier as children get used to each other's noises. Practical things that help:

• Go to the baby quickly at night, so crying doesn't build. Keep feeds and resettling dim and quiet. The NHS suggests being as boring as possible and leaving lights off when a child wakes in the night.
• Set simple ground rules for your older child: quiet voices after lights out, stay in bed, and call a parent rather than going to the cot if the baby cries.
• Think about the layout. Many families put the cot as far from the older child's bed as the room allows.
• Consider white noise. Red Nose in Australia says the limited evidence suggests white noise may help some babies, though some find it annoying. The AAP's page on noise says some machines can produce hazardous noise levels, and to place any machine as far from your baby's head as possible and use it for a short time only. See white noise.
• Separate for a while when you need to. Teething, illness, a new skill or a nap transition can make one child unsettled. A few nights with the baby back in your room, or the older child on a mattress in another room, is fine.

If your older child is having bad dreams or night terrors, see night terrors and nightmares. If bedtime has turned into a battle, bedtime stalling has ideas that work alongside a shared room.

Should I move my toddler out of the cot for the new baby?

Only if they're ready. Red Nose in Australia says it may be time to move to a bed when your child can climb out of the cot, or looks likely to, and that many children move between two and three years. A newborn sleeps in a bassinet or cot in your room for at least the first 6 months, which often gives you time.

If you do plan a change, time it away from the birth:

• KidsHealth's guide to preparing for a new sibling suggests making changes like moving from a cot to a bed well before your due date, or putting them off until after the baby has been home for a while. It also suggests making any room shifts a few weeks before your due date.
• The AAP's guide to preparing an older child says to finish the switch from a cot to a bed before the baby arrives, or wait until the baby is settled at home, so your child doesn't feel overwhelmed. It also says to expect a little regression.

A second-hand or borrowed cot that meets current safety standards can be easier than rushing a toddler who isn't ready. For the move itself, see moving from cot to bed, and for preparing your older child, see new sibling.

When should I get help?

Most sharing hiccups settle with time and tweaks. Talk to your GP or health visitor if either child's sleep problems are lasting, or if broken sleep is affecting daytime behaviour or the whole family. your health visitor, or NHS 111 can help if you're exhausted.

If a child falls from a bed or bunk and you're worried, get medical help today. Call 999 if they're difficult to wake or can't be woken, are having a seizure or are struggling to breathe, which the NHS urgent-help guide lists among reasons to call an ambulance.

What's worth noting while they adjust?

For a week or two, jot down who woke whom, when, and what settled them. A pattern, such as the baby waking at the same time each night or the older child stirring when you come in for a feed, often points to a simple fix, like moving the cot or changing the order of bedtimes.